By: Marlene Affeld ~
Keep It Simple – A first date should be a simple, low commitment, short event. Consider meeting for coffee on your lunch break or a glass of wine after work. Many men, though well intentioned, go overboard planning a date to impress by laying out a whole evening of dinner and entertainment. Wrong! Women, as well as men, are intimidated and put off by a prospective date that comes on too strong.
Select a convenient, casual location where you can relax and get to know each other. If you plan the first date as a brief “meet and greet” it takes off the pressure. You have an exit strategy. If either of you decides to bolt, there is no love lost. If after that first meeting, both of you are intrigued and want to spend more time together, plan another date or extend your first encounter.
Be Real – First dates are meant to be stepping-stones to a future relationship. Be true to yourself, avoiding trying to pretend that you are someone you are not. If you adopt an artificial persona or attitude, you are setting yourself and your date up for future disappointment.
Avoid Unrealistic Expectations
Whether searching for a romantic involvement or a long-term relationship, many of us do so with a firm set of predetermined, and often unrealistic expectations. We form a mental impression of how the person should look and act, how the relationship should move forward and the roles that each partner plays. Get real! Your expectations may be influenced by your friends, peers or past experiences and not a reflection of what “you” really want. Make sure your requirements are your own and don’t eliminate a potential date because she doesn’t fill your want list.
Dress To Impress – The old adage bears repeating, “You only have one chance to make a great first impression.” Because first impressions are so important, spend time on grooming and dressing well in appropriate attire that shows your date that your put thought and effort into looking your best for her. After all, your date is making the same effort for you.
Confident, Not Cocky – There is a fine line between confident and cocky. A man that comes off overly self-assured appears arrogant in a way that most women find unattractive.
Listen More Than Talk – It’s an old “rule” but one worth repeating: “Equity starts on the very first date.” Avoid dominating the conversation. Be a listener and keep the conversation light and fun. Try these words of attraction and affirmation.
Shut Off Your Cell Phone – Shut off your cell phone or mobile device. When you interrupt the conversation to answer a phone call or check for text messages when on a first date, it appears that you have something else more important you would rather be doing.