By: Marlene Affeld ~
Many mature women are intimidated by returning to the dating scene. It feels like we are outnumbered. According to figures released by the United States Census Bureau, for every 100 single women in the United States, there are 86 unmarried men.
StatisticBrain.com reports that out of the single men available, more than 80 percent of the men report that they prefer to date women that are 5 years or more younger than their age. Research studies indicate that many men have a gigantic blind spot when it comes to age, refusing to even consider a woman their own age even if she is attractive, healthy and in great physical shape: how depressing.
Don’t kid yourself. You can’t change the thinking of this type of man. However, there really are a wealth of great guys out there that are looking for a friend, companion, lover and “maybe more” with a woman of a similar age.
To complicate matters even further, a lifetime of love and loss has made many older women distrustful or unwilling to jump back in the “dating game.” You might say, I have been deeply hurt before, why go through that again? If that’s your reason, you are not alone. Research reveals that the majority (over 76 percent) of single mature women fear rejection and are hesitant to even try to make a meaningful connection. Yet these same women voice a heartfelt longing for romance, admit they are lonely, and say they would like to have a significant “other” in their life. If you are a mature single woman, sincerely looking for romance, a positive proactive stance and dramatic change of mindset is essential.
It is important to keep in mind that in all actuality, men are more often the ones that suffer from low self-esteem, lack confidence, and fear rejection. Men worry about a widening waistline, thinning hair and wrinkles just as much as women do. As mature women, we have the power to make a positive connection that turns into a dating opportunity. So just what is a mature woman, raised in a world where men are “supposed” to make to the first move do?
Start with polishing your skills in the art of flirting, smiling genuinely, striking up conversations with men when you are out shopping or at work, and approaching men first. Be spontaneous. Do not be afraid to make the initial move. What do you have to lose?
Stop Making Excuses
If you are preventing yourself from finding a loving companion by telling yourself that you are too busy to date or that there are no good men out there, stop making excuses. We may say we want to date, but in reality it feels safer to be alone and we make excuses, rather than act and risk rejection. Stop it. Try these words of affirmation and attraction.
Choose to take a no-excuses approach. To attract the right man into your life it is necessary to let go of your excuses. Go online and get out there to meet new men. If you are leery of online dating sites, get over it. You can hide behind your excuses or achieve results. Which do you prefer?
Let Go Of Your Fear
To get back in the dating game you must be willing to move out of your comfort zone. Yes, meeting new people and change can be scary, yet you usually only feel uncomfortable for a short period of time and it can be the best way to get out of a rut, move forward, grow, and find the partner you seek to share your life with. Now is not the time to whine and worry, its time to get to work.
Be Proactive – Take Action
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just make a wish and the soul mate of our dreams would appear? Unfortunately, in real life, in generally doesn’t happen that way. Action is required.
Did you know that the largest segment of the dating population, of both men and women, are over 50? We live in an age of technology. It is to your advantage to use it. While you may meet someone at work or through friends, you increase the odds dramatically when you join an online dating site. It isn’t and either/or situation. If you meet someone at the dog park, having a profile on a dating site isn’t going to keep you from making new friends the old-fashioned way.
Get online and find a reputable dating site for seniors. Smiling, flirting and chatting online, is one of the safest and surest way of finding that special someone.
Keep Your Wits About You
Just as there are a plethora of online dating sites, there is no shortage of men who try to take advantage of a lonely, older woman’s vulnerability. Do not fall prey to one of these scam artists. Always practice Internet safety, keeping personal information private. AARP.org advises, “Do your homework. There are all kinds of online dating sites, so spend some time on the computer researching what looks best for you.”